A curious change

Had a rather odd conversation today. I was talking to my parents about how I'm settling into my new post, and the conversation came round to what I thought would help me to succeed. I said that one thing which I thought would be useful was that I was good at getting along with others and creating trust. My parents both thought this was probably true, but my Mum added that this was something she would not have thought I would grow into, having seen me as a kid.

I thought about this for a while and realised this was true. I was really awkward as a kid, and found it incredibly difficult to make friends. I find it curious that today, I would say without hesitation, that one of my strengths is interpersonal relationships, though that is perhaps not necessarily the same as making friends.

In fact I recall a recent "Strengths Finder" test which suggested that one of my main strengths was, in fact, "Relator". (Incidentally, another one was "Learner", which I completely agree with as well and that HASN'T changed at all since I was a kid, and interestingly, "Connectedness", which is defined as "having faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.")

But I digress. The point is, the characteristics of the person I was as a kid, even up to secondary school, have changed significantly. This suggests a few possible implications:

a. nurture is at least as powerful a factor as nature - although I would be hard pressed to identify a specific "nurturing" factor that resulted in my "change";

b. given the absence of an obvious "nurturing" factor, I could have been a closet "relator" even then - I just didn't realise it;

c. scarily, and somewhat worryingly, how many other "secret" characteristics do I have that the circumstances around me have yet to unearth? I think being a "relator" is a generally good thing, not only in the office, but more importantly, in my own family and in advancing the Kingdom of God, but what about undesirable characteristics?

From a socially awkward kid, I've become a "relator". From a bullies' target, I've become a choleric. From a furiously self-reliant perfectionist, I've become somewhat more forgiving of myself, and of others, trusting in God that He is always, completely in charge. I'll never stop thinking of myself as that somewhat withdrawn, manically hardworking kid, and I don't think it will ever disappear entirely (nor do I desire such an outcome).

Since there is certainly as much a possibility of developing unlikable characteristics, I certainly hope that God will mercifully continue to surround me with people and put me in circumstances that will shape me more and more into that jar of clay which God can use.

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