Not what I can, but what is needed
I sometimes tell myself, when difficult things need to be done - let's just do what we can. This works in the sense that, by definition, none of us can do more than our best. So, do what we can. Those of us who are good at one thing, will do that thing to the utmost of our ability. Others will do other things to the utmost of their ability. But "let's just do what we can" can quite easily morph into, let's just do what we *feel* like doing. It's at this point that we often tell ourselves comfortingly about "self-care" first. Love yourself first, otherwise you can't love others. But for the most part, this isn't really right. If doctors and nurses had chosen to love themselves first, no one would have been manning the hospitals through the long days and nights, and through the various Covid waves. No, they loved others first. If our parents had chosen to love themselves first, far fewer of us would have had phlegm sucked out of our noses