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Count it all joy

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In my usual furiously organised way, I have a recurring weekend schedule that includes various chores spread across the weekends in any given month.  This morning, it was: clean out all the toilet floortraps; mop all the toilets, the stairwell and laundry area; silicon spray the blinds and doors; empty all the robot vacuums of dust (and hair!) and wash the mop pads; and deep water the grass. As you can imagine, this takes up a fair amount of time, though I always feel a perverse sense of achievement when I'm done XD Then I sat down with my wife to work through some family issues, logistical and others, before sending off correspondence and instructions to various service providers. Felt a lot like work. Then my wife went off with my son to look after her parents, run errands for them, spend time bringing them out and making them happy. In the meantime, I sat down to read through all the financial and audit reports, and the annual reports for church and our associated charities, bec...
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Give, take or match

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I'm reading Give and Take by Adam Grant. I'm about a quarter of the way through, and have been intrigued by his characterisation of people as "givers", "takers" and "matchers".  The default mindset and actions of a "giver" are to add more value into the eco-system than they take out. "Takers" aim to take more value out than they put in. "Matchers" (which apparently is most people) seek reciprocity - you scratch my back, I scratch yours. Most people think that "good guys finish last". Grant's research suggests that this is partly true. As an example, medical students who are "givers" tend to gravitate toward the bottom of the pile. They spend time and effort helping others, and end up with less time for themselves. So who's at the top of the pile?  Interestingly, also the givers ! Why? In the beginning, when results are strongly correlated with individual effort, givers lose out. But as the c...
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Nobody cares! ... Unless...

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A group of friends and I started a bread distribution initiative for rental block residents in our neighbourhood about 12-15 years ago.  We started simply because we wanted our group to be more outward than inward looking, and one of us had connections to procure bread at good prices, and another one among us lived next to one of those blocks. We decided that this wouldn't be a one-off feel-good initiative. It wasn't about distributing the bread. It was about caring for people. So we committed to doing this once a month, and to get to know the residents as people, and not beneficiaries. Over the years, the work evolved. Some more people joined in, others dropped off, but we never ran out of people to keep going. When the haze was terrible, we distributed masks. When Covid broke out, we also distributed masks! Then when we couldn't visit at all during the circuit breaker, we sent care packages via FoodPanda.  Over time, we also started to spend more time with selected househ...
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Second is better than first

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I was at a work offsite recently, and one of the warm-up exercises was to share what are our key relationships, why we come to work, and what we would like to get better at.  I've spent years in a weekly faith community setting with a small group of people, and my whole faith is built on the premise that *I am completely flawed and yet incredibly loved*. So I am quite used to sharing my faults with others, and how I'd like to get better, with no need to censor myself.  One of the things I shared at the offsite was - I've always wondered if I really fit in the group. It often feels like I need to learn how to put on a cloak of some sort so that I look and behave more like a corporate leader, and take on more of a slick, corporate persona (or as Barney Stinson would say, "SUIT UP!".  It was a great encouragement to hear from a few of my colleagues later on - yup, you *are* different from the rest of us. But that doesn't mean you don't *belong*. Your *differe...
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Plans and the future - a 2024 retrospective part 2

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As for me and my household The second half of 2024 began as the first did, with our 4th trip to see our friends at the school and village in Batam. Why was this trip especially memorable? Because we had my children N and D take centre stage to share at Sunday service, and me to interpret! I think it's the hope and joy of every parent to be able to surrender the spotlight to their children, and just be their enabler! Many Christian homes have these verses somewhere on the walls or mantelpieces: " As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord " (Joshua 24:15). I know from experience and observation that this is not easy to do, even with the best of intentions. So it has been one of the great privileges of my life to have my kids serve alongside my wife and me, and not just in a grudging one-off way.  I am quite sure that it has helped that we have brought N and D on our mission trips ever since they were toddlers. I encourage all young parents to do the same. Let's...
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Plans and habits - a 2024 retrospective part 1

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I'm generally a disciplined, habits, planning sort of person.  I plan practically every calendar slot of my working life, even down to when I'm going to sit at my desk to read/review/rewrite something by myself.  I have a spreadsheet that helps me plan when to catch up with my friends. I have a spreadsheet that tells me how much I'm spending every month. When I travel, I plan my itinerary in great detail, down to every hotel and ticket reference number and half hour blocks of time (yes in a spreadsheet :D). I'm pretty disciplined with habits too. I started to learn Indonesian on Duolingo several years ago, spending between 10-15 minutes practising every day. At the time of writing, I currently have an unbroken streak of 1796 days!  I committed to reading 12 books a year (I even follow a planned cycle of fiction => non-fiction => faith-based). I've managed 23, and target to finish no. 24 by the end of the year.  Best books I've read this year: Trust (Hernan...
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