Nobody cares! ... Unless...
We started simply because we wanted our group to be more outward than inward looking, and one of us had connections to procure bread at good prices, and another one among us lived next to one of those blocks.
Over the years, the work evolved. Some more people joined in, others dropped off, but we never ran out of people to keep going. When the haze was terrible, we distributed masks. When Covid broke out, we also distributed masks! Then when we couldn't visit at all during the circuit breaker, we sent care packages via FoodPanda.
That doesn't mean they don't have problems. But their key problem is not food. What people most needed from us was time, care and friendship, and occasionally, advocacy in navigating an increasingly complex digital world and the myriad of service providers and authorities.
Two or three times a year, besides the monthly visits, we'll also organise outings. Sometimes we'll bring them to magic shows or concerts. Often we'll have Christmas, Easter and Chinese New Year parties.
At our most recent Chinese New Year party, I was giving the closing address to the residents. I thanked them for being our friends over all these years, and explained, as I have many times before, why we have been working the ground there for so many years. No, it's not for GE25 :D
Unfortunately, as I was speaking, I realised that most of them weren't listening. So I paused, closed my script, and said to them, look, it's great that we are friends. Friendship is an awesome blessing. It's great that we can have a party and good food together.
In my spirit, I saw a beautiful arched suspension bridge, which you can really see in all its majesty when you zoom out. But when you zoom in, all the way to the steel bolts that hold it together, covered in paint, worn with use - well it isn't that pretty.
I have to build the relationship bolt by bolt, visit after visit, month after month, year after year. If not, nobody cares what I have to say. Nobody can see the beautiful bridge, because it hasn't been built. The love of God, the blessing of God, all of that is just talk if they haven't seen it from me.
You are the light of the world. A town on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
We decided that this wouldn't be a one-off feel-good initiative. It wasn't about distributing the bread. It was about caring for people. So we committed to doing this once a month, and to get to know the residents as people, and not beneficiaries.
Over time, we also started to spend more time with selected households, instead of simply completing the checklist of hitting every home. Credit to the many charities and support systems that are in place - only the most economically disadvantaged Singaporeans qualify to rent these flats, and their quality of life is leaps and bounds ahead of their equivalents in practically every other country I can think of.
Because our focus is on making a personal difference to a small number of families, we organise ourselves in 2s or 3s, and the intention is for these small groups to always visit the same homes, and spend quality time with our friends there.
The mark of success is when we start appearing in photographs the residents put up in their homes. It signifies that we've become a little more like family.
At these events, each of us will look after the few families that we have already befriended over the years. We may recognise the faces of other families, but we won't know those other families well, because our focus is on our own mini-families.
It's because God calls us to love our neighbour, and He has generously given us more than enough time, energy and resources to do so. He really is amazing.
But here, my heart really felt the burden of saying this: the best of friendship from us pales in comparison to what God can do for you as your Friend. I don't want you to miss that. So listen.
Even as I abandoned my script to pour out what my heart felt, I observed something. The only people who actually stopped to pay attention, were the people who I personally and regularly visited over the years. The people who had photos of my wife and I in their homes. The others looked up briefly, then went back to their own conversations.
But without those individual steel bolts, there is no bridge. No one can see the whole beauty of the bridge, unless it's been painstakingly built, bolt by bolt, span by span (my combat engineer friends will no doubt empathise with this! :D)
Put another way, as has been famously said before: nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
What this means is that each of us has the individual responsibility not only to build bolt by bolt, but also to share the vision of the bridge. We can't leave the narration to someone else. Because we who have built the bolts are the ones who they will actually listen to, from whom they can comprehend and see the bridge.
It's a reminder to me to keep building personal relationships. Big talk and grand projects don't mean a thing without the small bolts that hold up the vision.
It's a reminder to me also to keep sharing the vision. Because small bolts don't seem like anything, unless someone keeps reminding us - look at that awesome bridge!
Matthew 5:14-16
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