Above all else

I volunteer as a mentor for some programmes, and for a few people who approach me on a 1-1 basis. It's one of the more rewarding things I do in my life. For the avoidance of doubt though, mentoring doesn't mean I've got it all together, and doesn't involve dumping my so-called wisdom and experience onto others.  It's often true that I have some useful experience or understanding to share with these younger friends. But most times, my life context is just not the same as those of my friends. It's common for older folks to say, "in my time, we had it tougher! We worked harder! We know what it takes!" But I've found that my younger friends often have better skills and insight than I did at their age, and different, possibly even more complex challenges that I didn't face.  It would be supremely arrogant to think that I know the way for them. So really, it works best when I just ask lots of open ended questions, and we figure out together what is n...

I've been volunteering as a mentor for university students / young working adults for several years. These programmes typically last about half a year, and conclude with some kind of closing or capstone event. Most mentoring relationships tail off fairly rapidly after the programme ends. But sometimes, it grows into a long term friendship, in which we continue to learn from each other for years. Those are the ones where you can see that we've made a real difference in each other's lives.  In any self-improvement programme, or even in any relationship, mentoring or otherwise, there are going to be highs and lows. I remember feeling quite inspired myself when I attended an executive management programme several years ago. These programmes typically include some form of coaching/mentoring, on top of the lectures on leadership, purpose and so on. The programme was amazing. Truly a mountain top experience. The question is, where do all the buzz words like "North Star",...

As part of an alumni club association's activities, I volunteer as a mentor for university and polytechnic students.  Last year, I had a batch of Temasek Polytechnic students, and I've just completed this year's programme with a batch of NTU students. They sent me and my co-mentor a heart-warming set of individual thank you notes so, here's my note in return! ====== Dear J, J, M, P and Y (in alphabetical order...) Thanks for spending your time with J (another J!) and me over the last half-year.  It's been an odd sort of experience, since so much of it was conducted via Skype due to the Covid-19 situation.  Still, we did manage to meet up in person a number of times.  I really appreciate the thank you notes you sent - they are really nice, and I look forward to meeting again after the circuit breaker period is over. I thought long and hard about what concluding advice I had, especially since you have already heard much about what J and I believe ab...

We have a cool programme at my workplace, called "reverse mentoring" where we pair up with one of our 20-something year-old colleagues, so that we can be mentored on how millenials think and what's important to them, with a specific focus on their digital lifestyle. My mentor B has been infectiously enthusiastic - in the last couple of weeks, I have already crossed several apparently critical milestones.  Example 1 - I set up a Whatsapp chat group for my unit.  B was absolutely aghast when I confessed that I didn't already have one. "What??  No Whatsapp group?  Then how do you communicate with them?!?" She hyperventilated. "uh...  I kind of just pick up the phone or um, walk over?" I responded nervously. "Nooooo. *facepalm*" Example 2 - I set up Paylah!  Even my own team was aghast ("you mean you pay with... *shudder*... cash?") when I went to them after my first reverse mentoring session and asked for their he...