Second is better than first

I was at a work offsite recently, and one of the warm-up exercises was to share what are our key relationships, why we come to work, and what we would like to get better at. 

I've spent years in a weekly faith community setting with a small group of people, and my whole faith is built on the premise that *I am completely flawed and yet incredibly loved*. So I am quite used to sharing my faults with others, and how I'd like to get better, with no need to censor myself. 

One of the things I shared at the offsite was - I've always wondered if I really fit in the group. It often feels like I need to learn how to put on a cloak of some sort so that I look and behave more like a corporate leader, and take on more of a slick, corporate persona (or as Barney Stinson would say, "SUIT UP!". 

It was a great encouragement to hear from a few of my colleagues later on - yup, you *are* different from the rest of us. But that doesn't mean you don't *belong*. Your *different* is what makes you most helpful to us as a team. Thanks people, that was very nice of you!

When it came to articulating what my key relationships were, I thought about it long and hard. After sharing that I need to look more like a corporate man, would it cost me too much to go on to say this? I know I already have the reputation of being a "boy scout" in the office.

Ah well, in for a penny, in for a pound. 

So I mentally shrugged my shoulders and then said out loud to the group, "The most important relationship in my life is... Jesus".

"And then, by quite some distance, comes my family, then my colleagues with whom I spend most of my waking hours during the week, and my friends with whom I spend much of the rest of my time."

"As for the reasons why I come to work... the first is... to make Jesus known."

The whole room went quiet! Oops. 

Anyway, I went on to talk about other things - that this job contains a unique public service element and opportunity to contribute to something significant for the country, even though I work in the private sector. 

I shared about the challenges ahead, and what my team needs to get better at as we continue to globalise and attack the issues that lie ahead of us. I acknowledged that I need to lean in even more, and be committed not just to my own functional team, but to the overall leadership team. 

All genuinely important things, but I think most people's brains were still stuck on what I opened with. Because over the coffee breaks (despite all the super cool work stuff that I think I'm doing ahaha) that's the main thing people wanted to talk to me about!

"What does going to work have to do with making God known?" 

I get to meet other people, especially younger people with whom I would otherwise have a generational gap. They want to know what an experienced person knows. They get to see my life at work.

They see what I do well, and what I do badly. I get to try to model, as best as I can, the attitude of excellence, and commitment to help others succeed. I get to model what I think work life should look like, including how I handle failure. 

And if they want, I also invite them to see what my life looks like outside work. I get to show them that I care and that I want them to succeed. Then when they run into issues, whether in or outside of work, they have someone to ask. And I have Someone to point to.

"Why do you say your family comes a distant second to God? Won't your wife be upset that she's second?"

My wife would say exactly the same thing that I did. God is no. 1, and I'm no. 2.

Here's the thing. It's natural to put family first. That's why it's important to intentionally put some distance between God as no. 1 and family as no. 2. Otherwise it's just too easy for family to nose ahead of God.

Here's the even more important thing. When I choose to put God as a clear no. 1, and my wife as no. 2, I love my wife *more* than if I were to put her as no. 1. She is loved much much more as a no. 2 than as a no. 1, because when God is no. 1, I'm better at loving her. My wife would receive much less love if I were to rank her in front of God.

When I am completely filled with God's goodness, I don't have to look at my wife and say, fill me up! Meet my needs! You complete me! No. I'm already full. I'm already complete. And so I'm able to fill *her* needs, with no fear of lack for my own.

Actually, the same principle applies to everything and everyone we hold dear. 

If I put work ahead of God, I would do lousier work than if I put God first. 

If I put children ahead of God, I would be a lousier parent to them than if I put God first.

If I put friendship ahead of God, I would be a poorer friend than if I put God first.

If I put hobbies and leisure ahead of God, I would even have a lousier time having that fun. Why? Because even fun is more fun, when I'm able to rest in the confidence that I'm walking close to God as my no. 1, and He is taking care of all the serious stuff while I'm on a break.

When I put any of these things 2nd, they are *better* than if I put them first.

I say all this, still stumbling and failing to live up to these truths from time to time. But I know they are truth, and have both observed and experienced first hand over and over again that they work. So if I keep reminding myself, and if I keep telling others so that they will hold me accountable, perhaps I can walk more and more in these truths each day.

In His kingdom, being second is first!

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?... If anyone is ashamed of me and my words... the son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes..." Mark 8:34-38

"Many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first" Matthew 19:30