Plans and the future - a 2024 retrospective part 2

As for me and my household

The second half of 2024 began as the first did, with our 4th trip to see our friends at the school and village in Batam. Why was this trip especially memorable? Because we had my children N and D take centre stage to share at Sunday service, and me to interpret! I think it's the hope and joy of every parent to be able to surrender the spotlight to their children, and just be their enabler!

Many Christian homes have these verses somewhere on the walls or mantelpieces: "As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15). I know from experience and observation that this is not easy to do, even with the best of intentions. So it has been one of the great privileges of my life to have my kids serve alongside my wife and me, and not just in a grudging one-off way. 

I am quite sure that it has helped that we have brought N and D on our mission trips ever since they were toddlers. I encourage all young parents to do the same. Let's help our children grow up seeing and believing that serving is what ordinary people do. You don't have to be a superhero to serve. It's no big deal, and it's not a big sacrifice. Normalise serving.

Now that they've grown up and become young adults, my children have just kept on serving with us. It feels normal for D to routinely give up precious weekends to come along to Batam when he books out of the military base. It feels normal for N to reserve time to go with us to the school and village, even for those few precious weeks when she is back in Singapore each year. It's just normal life. Lord, long may this continue, and may my children's families in turn enjoy this same blessed normality!

We returned to Batam again in September and November, both times with old friends from my school days. I'm so glad to have the chance to share this part of my life with my old friends. 

You never really know who will still be in your life when you're 50. It turns out that it's some of these guys. People from whom I copied maths homework, played basketball, huddled together on the beach after being kicked out from a chalet (long story)... some who were similar to me, some who were dissimilar... but there really are no coincidences with God, and I'm looking forward to seeing where He leads us from here.

I can't mention my old friends without talking about my new(er) friends as well. My wife and I are so blessed to know every one of our church cell community/family. A number are around the same age as we are, and we've known them for perhaps 8-12 years. Many more are 10, 15 or 20 years younger than we are, and we've known them for 5 or less years. These friends have shared their lives with us and introduced us to new experiences. They encourage us with their energy, teachability and obedience, as we collectively choose to serve God and people. I don't think I can say it better than: they are family, and they are loved!

August saw us accompany N to the airport to jet off once again, this time for her post-grad, and I remember thinking to myself, well, I've seen many first days of school with N, all the way from when she was a toddler in kindergarten to now as a young adult, and hopefully this will be the last, first day of school!

Then in September, D got baptised! We had agreed with both N and D that baptism was something they would do later on in life, after they mature. It was my great joy to stand in the baptism pool to baptise my own son!

Finding home

I've chosen to live really near to church for most of my adult life. This was partly triggered by the fact that my matrimonial flat was really far away from church (got married early in life, and a non-mature estate has cheaper flats of course). Having to leave early on Sunday mornings and fight through traffic jams to get to 8 am service was still worth it of course, but if you can make it easier, why not right?

So the moment we could afford it (frankly, probably before we could really afford it), we moved to be near church. Unfortunately for us, at about the same time we moved, the church then decided to move all the way to another end of the island - aaaaaaaaa!!! So ensued several more years of hauling ourselves across the island to get to church.

Thankfully, the church later moved back to its original location, and for many many years, we have enjoyed being able to walk to church. This has been great, because it has allowed me to head over to church anytime I've been needed at short notice to meet people or attend service with friends. It's also been a great blessing to live near my parents and my wife's parents.

Because of all these advantages, we hadn't moved for many many years, although my family thought of doing so many times, especially as my children grew bigger. We looked for a suitable place to move for years, but nothing ever seemed to fit. 

Finally, we got quite serious about moving, but then God specifically cautioned me against buying a home that would cost so much that it would risk constraining my life choices to serve Him (see link). So we obeyed. Shortly thereafter, we heard from God that it was not even about the cost. It was simply not the time to build our own house; we needed to build His house first (see link).

Some years later, we actually did finish building a house for Him in Batam! We then felt the freedom to look for our house, but somehow it still didn't work out. We only wanted to live within walking distance of church. My wife only wanted a home that faces east. The house couldn't be too small (otherwise no point moving) and couldn't be too big (we have never had a helper at home, and don't want to start). 

Once, we were so close to closing on a new house, but... someone beat us to it by just one evening. I remember getting a tearful call from my wife at work, and having to sit in a meeting room and feel sad about it together.

Then finally, one day, it suddenly happened. My wife saw an ad and we went down to have a look. I remember thinking to myself, I'm sure it won't work out. To be perfectly honest, I had already deleted "move to a new home" from my annual prayer agenda after years and years of never getting an affirmative answer. I just thought, I guess God doesn't want us to move.

But even though I'd given up, God hadn't forgotten all those years of asking. And so sometime in September, we finally closed on our new home - cheaper and (certainly to our mind) better than the one we had lost by a whisker a couple years before! 

By early next year, God willing, we will move in. My human mind tells me, I wish I had done it sooner. Houses are more expensive today than they were many years ago, and I also have fewer years left with my children at home with me! 

But my spirit reminds me - God is never too late, never too early. He asked us to wait, and we obeyed. He told us to do something else first, and we did. And sometimes when He knew we were too weak and impatient to wait, He closed the door. So, thank You Lord, You are good, and I'm glad You helped us to journey with You and do it Your way.

From one man He made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from any of us. Acts 17:26-27

Trophies and baubles

At work, I was mildly puzzled when I was pushed up to the next grade, which was a nice surprise, because I honestly thought it was never going to happen. Much nicer, I thought, was the team winning an industry award for SEA team of the year earlier in the year, and then later in the year, Asia Pacific Team of the Year! 

Why was this nicer? Because at the end of last year, I had told myself I should get the team recognised for their amazing work, and so we worked towards this. Still, I remember sitting at the dinner for the SEA awards and being completely shocked when they read out our name. I always assumed that prizewinners would be told in advance, and since I didn't hear anything, I just thought, well it was still nice to get to the finals. 

When the APAC awards came up later in the year, I didn't even attend. Two of the team went for the ceremony instead, and I was even happier when I heard the news. They say in team sports that winning is more important that individual awards. I'll never be a world class athlete, but I think I now know a bit about how that feels.

More importantly though, none of these baubles ought to change my mind about what is the next best thing to do, whenever God chooses to call me. Just because a bauble becomes shinier, or a trophy gets bigger, doesn't make it anything more than a mildly entertaining piece of plastic or metal. Often, it may represent nothing more than fleeting or even arbitrary favour with men. Sure, they're nice to look at, and God does expect us to strive for excellence as we point to Him. But they're ultimately just baubles, ready to be set aside when God calls.

Looking forward

In the book "Is Your Work Worth It" by Christopher Wong-Michaelson and Jennifer Tosti-Kharas, there is a passage that suggests three questions that people should ask themselves when looking forward to a new year. First, what do I expect to do? Second, what ought I to do? Third, what do I actually want to do? 

The book doesn't say this, but I think ideally of course, the answers to all three questions should coincide. Yet so often, they don't. 

Sometimes we end up merely doing what we expect to. We just go with the flow and the prevailing circumstances, and fail to ask God, fail to ask big. 

Sometimes we just do what we want to do. We just follow our own selfish desires and vain ambitions, and fail to ask God where He wants us to be.

Sometimes we ask ourselves the right question - what ought we to do? But then we create no expectation of ourselves that we will in fact do what we ought to, and so we fail to do what it takes to transform what ought to be, into what is expected to be. Or other times, we know what we ought to do, but we don't align that with what we actually want to do. And if we don't want it, of course we end up taking no action towards it.

2024 has been good, as has every year I have learned to walk with God. Sometimes high mountain, sometimes low valley. Sometimes lost, always found. And always good. 

As I look forward to 2025, I pray that God will align my heart and hands with what I ought to do, so that anticipation and preparation, intention and expectation will propel me even further along in His direction, on a journey even more full of His love, joy, peace and purpose than 2024 has been. And may I encounter more and more people to walk this wonderful journey with!

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying "Thus far the Lord has helped us". 1 Samuel 7:12