Effortlessly hot

So I was chatting with my 14-year-old son on the way back from church yesterday, and I don't know how it happened, but for some reason I decided to ask, "do you have any idea what kind of girl you want to marry one day?" To which he casually replied in the usual teenager's laconic manner, "just somebody nice I guess".

Never knowing when to stop, I pressed on "yes, but what do you mean by nice?"

And realising his Daddy is never going to let this go until he gets a good answer, the boy sighs briefly, and thinks for a bit. 

D: Well, you know every guy wants to to be with someone who's hot, yet doesn't care very much about how she looks.

Me: uh...ok, so like, somebody who's effortlessly hot.

D: Yeah, exactly!  But also nice.

Me (really never knowing when to stop): OK, but what about other stuff, like, does she have to like what you like, like computer games?

D: Sigh.  Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.  *Of course* I want her to like computer games.  But *everybody* knows that nice, effortlessly hot girls who like computer games DON'T EXIST!  It's like they say - if you want love, lower your expectations hahaha!

Always a joker that one.  But at least he's a realist.  Nevertheless, if anyone out there knows an effortlessly hot girl who's into computer games, you know my son might be interested :D

I share this because I also happened to read a rather horrifying Straits Times article that same day, where apparently people are turning up at aesthetic surgeons with Photoshopped selfies of themselves, and asking for surgery to look like that.  This includes kids as young as 15, accompanied and presumably supported by their parents! 

I hate to break it to the people who've paid all that money to the aesthetic surgeons, but that is probably the antithesis of casual beauty, which (according to my son at any rate) all boys are looking for!

To be fair, wanting to look good on the outside is an understandable thing.  We all want to look good - we're lying to ourselves if we claim otherwise.  For many of us, we want to look young, trim and attractive.  For many others, we want to look rich, successful and famous (the Crazy Rich Asians movie is probably going to make this even more of a thing!).  We think that if we are all these things, people will think better of us, and will want to be with us. 

But we know we can't be all that, all the time.  The fact is that we don't all get to be rich and famous supermodels, sports and media stars and business tycoons.  And even for those who do get to be in the limelight for a while, it all disappears rather quickly.  I'm not even sure that those who are in the limelight are really enjoying themselves, either because it's never enough, or it doesn't last.

John D Rockefeller, the byword for US wealth, and often considered the wealthiest person in modern history, was once asked, how much money is enough?  To which he answered - just one more dollar!  (I've also deliberated picked a picture of him in his older years to, you know, make a point...)

Media and sports stars have wealth and fame spilling out of their ears.  But they constantly live in fear of the moment their perfectly sculpted bodies will fail.  Their careers in the limelight blaze briefly, then fade.  A 2009 Sports Illustrated study suggested that within 2 years of retirement, 78% of NFL stars go bankrupt or are in financial distress.  Within 5 years of retirement, 60% of NBA stars are in the same sad state.

If we start our kids off in life, believing that how we look on the outside - wealth, fame, physical appearance - is the answer to life, the universe and everything, we're really setting them up, not only to fail, and also to be miserable along the way!  So... let's not.

I end off this blog on a fairly proud note - because my conversation with my son actually didn't end with the conclusion that effortlessly hot computer game chicks are the goal.

D: Daddy, in the end, I'll marry whoever God says I should.  He might want me to marry someone who isn't hot or doesn't like computer games or something.  I will probably ask, do I really have to??  But if He says do it, then I'll do it.  Because He knows what's best for me.  And if I make any other decision, it just won't be as good as if I followed Him.  I mean, you always have choices, but *some choices just lead to bad ends*.

I concur.  Love that boy :)

P.S. Thank You Jesus, for my effortlessly cute wife.  Even if she doesn't like Liverpool FC as much as I'd like her to, she once conceded to stand in the heaving Kop in the dead of winter, on her birthday, to watch us get knocked out of the Europa League by a random Russian team, and let's face it, you can't ask for more than that :D

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