Lifeboats

So I recently went for one of those health screening things, and well, something looked weird on the tests. The clinic sent me one of those ominous SMSes that say, "You know that appointment you had next month?  Well, how about you come in AS SOON AS YOU CAN instead?"  Or words to that effect :P

Hardworking fellow that I am, I ignored the SMS of course, thinking - can't be anything serious surely.  Where got time to keep going to doctor?  But after a couple of days, I couldn't put it off in my head any more, so I ambled down to the clinic.  And amidst the gobbledygook of medical terminology, I was essentially told I had to see a specialist to investigate this weird thing on my test.

At this point, Google came in useful of course, so I started looking up the words on the report, and the more I read, the more alarming it sounded.  It really didn't sound good at all!

I happen to have a good friend who is a specialist in this very field, so I told him what the report said, and unfortunately, it wasn't " aiyah don't worry" (which would have been a welcome relief!).  Instead, he basically said, when can you see me?  So off I went to see him.

When I got there, he gave a quick and concise biology lesson, including the possible diagnoses and scenarios that could ensue, subject to some other tests.  Based on what I had Googled, and what he said, I have to say, I was getting concerned.  So I headed off to do the follow-up tests, which I must say, were much more uncomfortable that I had anticipated, but what to do?

Over the weekend, while waiting for the test results, I had the chance to think long and hard about,  what if... ?

It's a hard thing to think about mortality.  And you know what?  I concluded that I was scared, but not scared in the sense of "oh no, it's the end!".  You know when you're perched at the top of a zipline that you've never sailed down before?  Or belted up in a new rollercoaster ride that's about to barrel off?  It is scary, but scary in a sort of "wow I've never done this before" way, and not an "it's the end" way.

And I was reminded of this piece I'd written back in 2015 (click here).  If it really was the end for me here on Earth, then all I was doing was stepping off the Titanic onto the lifeboat and eventually onto land.  The only thing you can't do on the lifeboat is to get back onto the sinking Titanic.  Which means the only thing you have to worry about when you're on the lifeboat, is whoever's left on the Titanic, who doesn't have a lifeboat.

I suspect many people view bad health news the other way.  Oh no!  I'm stepping off this great ship onto this sinking sampan!  It's scary, and it's the end!!!

And I was amazed that I had it the other way.  Thank God!  I'm stepping off this sinking ship onto this lifeboat and thereon to my destination onshore!  It's scary, but the real show's beginning now!!!

Now, as it turns out, my wife and I turned up at my friend's clinic a couple days later, and it was good news - my number wasn't quite up yet. 

But someday it will come up.  Whether it's 10, 20, 30 or 40 years from now, the point is, I am, like everyone reading this blog, on the Titanic.  The only question is, have I got a place on the lifeboat?  Have you? 

I gotta tell you this - the only thing I'm worried about, is whoever's left on the Titanic, who doesn't have a lifeboat.  This sort of clarity makes life... purposeful.  Peaceful.  And yes, joyful.  In all sorts of circumstances.  Messes happen in the family, challenges come up at work.  I'd be lying if I told you the circumstances around me never bother me.  But I genuinely think they bother me a lot less than they would otherwise have, for someone without the same clarity.

What really bothers me is people having no lifeboat.  So I try to model and mentor my children on how to live life holding tight to Jesus.  And then we'll see each other on land one day soon!  I try to share with my colleagues and friends - live life passionately - after all, the Titanic is a pretty fun ship!  But live it free of the burdens of striving to move up the rungs.  The whole darn thing is eventually going down you know, whether you're in first class or the cargo hold.  What matters is your intended destination on land, not your seat class on the transport that's going down halfway!

I am thankful to have this peace, this joy, this assurance, this clarity.  And I'd love for you to have it too.  Sometimes I might be too shy to tell you about it.  Or I might be distracted, or feel too busy.  But make no mistake - in my heart of hearts, this is the only thing I really worry about.  So whatever the time or occasion, if you're wondering where the lifeboat is, I'd love to show you where it is!