For and against

I wonder what my children think when they look at me.

Do they think, "He's against bad posture" or "He doesn't want us to have a sore back like him in future".

Do they think, "He's against laziness" or "He believes we can be awesome if we do our best".

Do they think, "He's against lying" or "He loves me even when I lie".

Today's culture prizes warm fuzziness and unconditional support, so you might think I want the latter more than the former.  But actually, I think both are important.  C.S. Lewis said, in The Problem of Pain, "Of all the powers, love forgives the most, and condones the least."

Love forgives the most.  But condones the least.  It's true that I love my kids, and I will love them no matter what mischief they get up to.  It's true that I think they can be awesome and I will continue to think so even when they let me down.  But they know, and I want them to know, that I don't approve of mischief, and I'm not happy when they let me down.

If I don't forgive, I fail to love.  But equally, if I fail to correct, I don't love.  When I stop caring about my kids doing wrong, I stop loving.  Elie Wiesel, Nobel Peace Prize winner, once said that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference!

I read recently that people look at Christians, and all they think about is all the things we are against, instead of the things we are for.  Against drunkenness, against promiscuity, against homosexuality, against idolatry.  These issues are important, but we need to change the wrong impression that all we are is against this and that and the other, and it certainly is partly our own fault that this impression has been formed.  We spend so much effort to speak against stuff, and each of us needs to take personal responsibility to spend more time to actually love others!

But there are a couple of other reasons why this impression is being reinforced in the public consciousness:

a.  No one likes to be criticised.  Everybody loves to be supported.  So there is a visceral backlash when we come out and say - I don't agree with your behaviour.  Everybody remembers, ooh, they don't like what I do.  Few remember, ahh, they love me anyway, no strings attached.  When I'm hungry, they feed me.  When I'm sick, they care for me.  When I'm lonely, they are with me.

b.  The public narrative in the Western (and most popular) media has been seized against Christians.  Christians are hypocrites.  Christians hate science.  Christians hate gay people.  The Orlando shooting happens, and somehow now it's the Christians' fault for disagreeing with the homosexual lifestyle (if you agree it's nuts to blame the Muslims for the act of one crazy guy, then how can it make sense to claim that it's the fault of the Christians?  Shame on you all who politicise the death of all those people.)

We are called to love unconditionally.  We fail sometimes.  But we still insist on shooting for the stars, and holding ourselves to the highest standards, even if we know that we can't always meet them.  If that's hypocrisy, then, sure.  But true love isn't "I love you because to me you're perfect".  It's "I love you even though I know you're imperfect!"

In the same way that I believe good posture prevents you from having a sore back (even though I myself still forget to stop slouching!), I believe that a Godly lifestyle gives you a life full of joy and peace.  So I tell my kids and my friends whom I love, stand up straight, trust in God.  He knows what He's doing, and better yet, He's doing it all because He loves you.  Best of all, He loves you no matter what you've done - nothing you can do can make Him love you more, and nothing that you've done can make Him close the door!

Happy weekend!

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