This is not love

Yesterday was a sad day.  I write this now because I think it is important to speak up, and to speak up clearly and strongly before it's too late.  It's already starting to be the case for us in our time, and for my children, or my children's children... well, it seems it will be even harder.

Many will have read that the US Supreme Court has decided, by a 5 to 4 majority, to legalise same-sex marriage across the United States (amid the press' general coverage of this matter as if all the world celebrated, and as if this was clearly the right decision, you should read some succinct highlights of the other four judges, including the Chief Justice, who disagreed with the decision here).

What the US Supreme Court has done is not just legalise same-sex marriage.  They are fundamentally re-defining what marriage means.  They are saying that the very definition of marriage as between a man and a woman, which has been in place for millenia, has been unconstitutional all this time.  Though it is nowhere in the Constitution, they have decided that marriage is a fundamental right of consenting persons (and if so, what is there to stop marriage between three persons?  Two men and two women?  Between a man and his consenting sister?  What next, between a man and an animal who "love" each other?) 

And, unlike the (thank God!) much more sensible Singapore courts, they have decided that a few select judges are in a better position than the people to determine this, and struck down existing laws enacted and approved on behalf of a democratic electorate.

Caught up in the "heady times of here and now", they are confident that all the generations, including themselves, who have benefited from the institution of marriage between a man and a woman are wrong.  All this, because it is currently uncool not to celebrate and support the gay lifestyle.  And my concern is that some day, perhaps soon, it may not just be uncool not to celebrate the gay lifestyle, but illegal.

The US Chief Justice notes that "the First Amendment guarantees... the freedom to exercise religion.  Ominously, that is not a word the majority [of the 9 judges] uses.  Hard questions arise when people of faith exercise religion in ways that may be seen to conflict with the new right to same-sex marriage - when, for example, a religious college provides married student housing only to opposite-sex married couples, or a religious adoption agency declines to place children with same-sex married couples... Unfortunately, people of faith can take no comfort in the treatment they receive from the majority today."

In case you think the Chief Justice is thinking of hypothetical scenarios, he is not.  This is a real issue.  For example, religious adoption agencies all over the US and the UK have been forced to close because they declined to place children with same-sex couples.  Just Google it - too many articles to reference here, but here's just one on the adoption agencies.  Or florists, bakeries etc that decline to provide services for same-sex marriages on religious grounds?  Again, many many real life examples.  See this one as an example.  And you can bet that as a result of the US Supreme Court's decision, more suits are coming in the US to clamp down on people who want to abide by their religious beliefs.  THAT is intolerance and tyranny.

All this is particularly sad because the US, and much of Europe, are ostensibly Christian nations.  The crumbling of Western morality - the normalisation and institutionalisation of greed, adultery, and now same-sex relations - has mirrored the fall in their economic and social standing.  Anyone who has been to the US and Europe can see it - they have fallen, they continue to fall, and they are in a mess.  And whether they wish to admit it or not (and many of their politicians and judges, for political reasons, will still claim they are Christians), they are leaving the faith and celebrating as they do so.  Sadly, the Bible expected this.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error... and they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practise them.  Romans 1:26-27, 32

Supporters of same-sex marriage paint their cause as the triumph of love and everyone who disagrees as a hater and a bigot.  They are mistaken.  Love is not about letting you do what you want.  Unlike what many people like to think these days, love is not even about tolerating others.  It's absolutely true that we should respect others' beliefs (even while we disagree with them).  But that is not "love".

Love, in case we've forgotten, is wanting the best for others, and working towards that end.  Helping them make good choices and saving them from bad ones.  That's what we do for our families and our children.  Why would it suddenly be untrue for our friends?  

I hear some people say - love is unconditionally supporting someone else in whatever makes them happy.  That's unconditional love.  They are, again, incredibly mistaken.  Only a true friend would tell you what you need to hear, not merely what you want to hear.  It's the people who don't care about you who tell you "Do whatever you want".

To paraphrase Max Lucado, God does accept you the way you are.  And so do His people.  We are called to accept you the way you are, because God also accepted us - every one a sinner.  But in the same way that any loving parent would understand, God loves us too much to leave us that way.  No matter how big our rebellion, He will take us back, as the parable of the prodigal son demonstrates.  In the same way, Jesus defended and forgave the adulterous woman, even when everyone else was ready to condemn her.  But His parting words to her?  Go, and sin no more.  

Every parent wants his or her children to be the best that they can be.  One of the worst things you can do as a parent is to leave your child alone, and tolerate all his behaviours.  You teach infants to be toilet trained, and to stop putting things in their mouths, so they don't fall ill.  You teach toddlers how to say "Mama", "Dada", "Please" and "Thank you" to instil the beginnings of respect that they will hold till they grow up.  You teach your younger children how to obey authority and cooperate with others when they first go to school.  You teach teenagers how to do chores so that they learn responsibility.  You teach your adult children about all the good and bad choices you made so that they don't have to make them.  And that's what God continues to do for all His people today, whom He loves unconditionally.  

My prayer today is that, unlike the American people, my children will have the backbone and the courage to hold on to what is true and not be swayed by the "heady times of here and now", even if they are in the minority.  God give us courage not to quietly stand by and watch things fall apart!