New Year Resolutions

I was with my church friends yesterday, and we were sharing our New Year resolutions.  This is always a time for reflection, so here I am, putting these thoughts to paper.

What's the use of resolutions?

Someone joked that it's better not to make resolutions, so that you never break them.  You see, the underlying premise of that statement is that, if I had made a resolution, I would have broken it. So either way, I've ended up failing.  But with a resolution, I know when I've fallen short.  Without a resolution, I am oblivious, but I've still fallen short.

Someone else looked back at last year before sharing her resolutions for the year to come.  I think that's another great thing about resolutions - you can look back a year later and be grateful for all that God has led you through.  Otherwise, we will walk through life, thanklessly oblivious to God's presence and provision, and glibly oblivious of our need to be transformed, day by day, into Christ's likeness (2 Cor 3:18).

Goals vs resolutions

Someone else said, I have some goals - are those the same as a resolution?  To which I said - well, a goal is where you want to end up.  That's important of course. But the resolution should then specify what you're actually going to do to get there.

So, for example, "I want to get fitter this year" or "I want to get closer to God" are goals.  But it's important to set out how you actually want to get there.  As they say, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  And if we don't figure out what those steps are, most times the journey never gets going.

So "I will go to the gym every Tuesday and run at the beach every Sunday" is a resolution.  Or like some my friends decided, "I will study and really dive into the books of Psalms, Acts and Revelation this year".  In other words, get specific, and get moving!

The hardest resolutions

A number of us shared resolutions to be more patient, more caring, more loving.  These resolutions are difficult for a couple of reasons.  One, it's difficult to come up with concrete, step by step plans to be "more patient" or"more caring".  The need to be patient often arises in unexpected situations!

Two, becoming more patient and caring is often most difficult with those whom we are close to.  There is inertia in our relationships, whether with our parents or our spouses or children.  For example, I heard quite a number of us, who have been married for years, rib our partners about making resolutions to get rid of irritating habits :)  Because we're often closest to our family, it gets easier over time to take them for granted, and to see their warts ever more clearly.

One of my new year resolutions each year is to love my wife better.  This is something I constantly come up short on.  I am ashamed that I take her for granted.  I'm sometimes mean, impatient or unnecessarily tough on her.  I want to be better.  To show her that I treasure her more than rubies.  As I said, these are the hardest types of resolutions - there are no quick wins, no short cuts.  It's not about big anniversary celebrations or grand gestures or structured plans, or even writing about it as I'm doing now.  Just a daily transformation of my heart.  So my precious wife, be patient with me as I work to be a better husband.  I really do love you, and I'll work to make sure it's not just something I say, but something you see.

A wife of noble character who can find?
  She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
  and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
  all the days of her life.
She watches over the affairs of her household
  and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
  her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things,
  but you surpass them all."

Proverbs 31:10-12, 27-29

Oh and husbands, if you think this doesn't apply to you, I highly recommend you check with your wife first.  Hint: you're probably wrong :D

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