Plans and habits - a 2024 retrospective part 1
I plan practically every calendar slot of my working life, even down to when I'm going to sit at my desk to read/review/rewrite something by myself.
I have a spreadsheet that helps me plan when to catch up with my friends. I have a spreadsheet that tells me how much I'm spending every month. When I travel, I plan my itinerary in great detail, down to every hotel and ticket reference number and half hour blocks of time (yes in a spreadsheet :D).
I committed to reading 12 books a year (I even follow a planned cycle of fiction => non-fiction => faith-based). I've managed 23, and target to finish no. 24 by the end of the year.
Best books I've read this year: Trust (Hernan Diaz (so beautifully written)); Until Unity (Francis Chan (as fiery as ever)); Can Science Explain Everything (John Lennox (so well argued!)); The Midnight Library (Matt Haig (cliched, but still heartwarming)); The Bee Sting (Paul Murray (such a sad book though!).
Despite my best efforts to stay in control, plan and form consistent habits, life STILL manages to find a way to surprise me. This itself is not surprising. After all "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails". (Proverbs 19:21).
The Bible even warns, especially to compulsive planners like me "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." (James 4:13-15)
January
I was unexpectedly, though thankfully just temporarily floored by a wisdom tooth extraction. Wow that was a lot more painful and difficult than the cheerful video they play on endless loop in the dentist's waiting room. Thankfully, all fine now. True account of the extraction:
Dentist (struggling with my tooth and it seemed then, my entire head): PUSH, THEN PULL! PUSH, THEN PULL!
Nurse: Ooh!
Me (mouth full of anaesthesia, so I mean, just panic thinking): Ooh? What ooh? What happened?!?!
Dentist: ah that part of the bone isn’t necessary any way.
Me: What???
😂
I actually wrote in my journal - "sending N to the airport to return to C - probably for the last time, unless D also ends up going to the UK". Then just a week or so later, we got the stunning news that D had really received an offer to go to the same university as his sister N.
I then wrote to my children: "Sometimes prayers are for things so big you don't even dare to believe it. But today, just like [previous answered prayer for D] and just like [other previous answered prayer for N], and all the many other things we have prayed over the both of you, God shows that He answers prayer.
Later that very evening, we sang this at leaders' meeting. God really opens the windows of heaven!
打开天窗，打开天窗
愿我的祷告打开天窗
愿你充满你的荣耀
你的同在在这地!
At the end of January, we had our first Batam trip of the year. This work had come to mean a lot to me and my family and friends. But at that time, it was still unclear if we had support from the church to continue our work. But thank God, every trip continued to be filled with signs and wonders and answered prayers.
I saw the bedridden recover. I saw the lame get up and walk. I saw deliverance for the oppressed. I saw prayers for jobs for our friends answered in real time as we prayed. I saw continued open doors to keep up the work. I saw life spring up so vibrantly in so many of my cell family friends because they had a challenging way to serve generously and be abundantly blessed in turn. I saw wonderful opportunities to share the Good News with friends who joined us as volunteers. I wouldn't have believed any of it if I hadn't been there myself. So, just, wow.
We returned to Batam for our 2nd trip. Unusually, my wife wasn't able to join me, so I was on my own. It was so amazing to have the people whose prayers were answered at the last trip actually step forward to tell all their friends - hey, my prayers were answered!
I also encountered a situation I'd never been in before - not for public consumption, but enough for me to write here for my own remembrance in future - spiritual oppression is a real thing, and deliverance is a real need. Just being able to speak the name of Jesus is a privilege, and it has power. May I never take it for granted.
The most memorable incident in March was when I went to fetch D from his base. He had been away on extensive shift duty for more than a week, and was obviously very tired. I got there early, but when he emerged from the base, I realised to my horror that the car couldn't start. And his base is MILES from nowhere.
I could feel myself getting frustrated, but ever sweet-natured D just said - Hey Daddy, want to see what I do when I'm inside? The Navy Museum is just over there. We can go while we wait for the car mechanic to arrive.
I really don't understand how a massively sleep-deprived, away-from-home-for-more-than-a-week teenager could be more positive than me, but I was put to shame. And I ended up having one of the best afternoons, just hanging out with my sunshine son. The car repair took a while, but you know, it's fine :)
In another sign of the crumbling nature of the body that is my earthly tent (2 Corinthians 5:1-4), I discovered that I had yet another issue, this time requiring me to change my more-or-less lifelong but accidental habit of intermittent fasting. I don't eat breakfast, never really have, and I often didn't eat lunch either.
Well, no more of that, because the doc said, dude that is a really unhealthy lifestyle and you need to change - you're lucky we found this real early. Thank God for my wife who told me, you know, at your age, you really should go do a scope, even though I had no symptoms at all. If you're my age, I really recommend that same advice. Just go man. And eat breakfast :P
Batam again, and the chronicles of the Merlion. You just gotta read the blog entry at the link here. Thank God for my wife, who kicks me out of bed when I'm feeling sorry for myself!
June
I turned 50! Since I would never be forty-something again, I spent the day taking day-in-the-life pictures of a forty-something year old. Mundane things like work meetings, going up and down the lift, reading the Bible, practising my Indonesian, going to exercise at the gym. Things to be grateful for, and one day I'm sure I'll look back on these mundane things with fondness!
Perhaps even more importantly, I needed to remind myself - keep moving forward, because time flies, and I want to use it well. As the worship song goes: Goodbye yesterday, I'm living in the light of a new day, I won't waste another minute in my old ways, praise the Lord, I've been born again!
We flew everyone over, including my parents, who had never been to Europe. And what an adventure it was too. The town was completely booked out with proud parents, but we just about managed to get an AirBnB near N's college.
The AirBnB description said "generous sized rooms; en suite toilet".
Technically, true.
What the description didn't say was, and there are another 5 such rooms in the same house, and yeah, we're renting them all out at the same time.
So when we turned the key and entered the house, another 25 people were already in the house, and I could just see the resignation in their eyes "Great. Another family." It felt like we were in a refugee house.
And yes the room was indeed large enough for my parents and us. As long as we all didn't move. Hahahaha!
Then after N's graduation, we were supposed to go to Italy, because my parents wanted to see Rome. We got to the airport and... the flight was cancelled, just an 1 hour before takeoff.
The substitute flight we were offered was at the same time that they told us about the original cancellation, so obviously we missed that. Later, it turns out the runway was damaged, so frankly I don't understand how the substitute flight could have taken off...?
We then tried to get to the airport hotel and... no taxis turned up (presumbly because hundreds of people were trying to get one). Thanks to the determination of my wife, we finally managed to get there and secure one of the last rooms, where we ate pizza, slept like logs and then relaxed most of the next day waiting for another flight. Actually, one of the best nights of the trip, so it just goes to show, sometimes plans fall to pieces for good reasons.
But even crummy things can lead to good things. A car that didn't start gave me a good afternoon with my son. An overly crowded AirBnB gave me a story to tell. A missed plane gave us respite from a packed schedule. Some decisions worked out according to plan, but many many more didn't.
Many regrets aren't based on fact. They're based on assumptions that the path not taken is better than the path you did take. It's easy to mourn the lives we don't have, the friends we didn't make, the work we didn't do, the people we didn't marry and the children we didn't have. But we can't tell if those lives would be better or worse. All we do have is the present, and all of its glorious potentiality.
I like that.
So that takes me through the first half of 2024. The second half? Well, one other thing I said I'd do for 2024, was to write 12 entries for this blog. This is no. 11, so I still owe myself 1 to finish the year!
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