Do you know where your children are?

A well-known American catchphrase is "Do you know where your children are?"  It's often used at the start of radio or news programmes - say the 10 o'clock news, and I suppose it's meant as a reminder to check if your children are safely back home.

My wife and I have a good relationship with our kids at this point of their lives.  Dan is only 10, and he still pretty much listens to everything we say, although actually following through is a different thing of course!  Nat is 12, and she's starting to hear the voices of friends and the media a bit more loudly.  Like many of her peers, she has a mobile phone, but she's only allowed to use it at home (basically to keep in touch with her friends on Whatsapp) and the wife and I regularly check on her conversations.

At some point, I suppose this will no longer be appropriate, but right now, I've found this to be a helpful arrangement.  We occasionally catch her joining in gossip or playing tweeny clique politics, and we're in a position to stop any nonsense before it gets out of hand.  I'm also very proud of her for being humble enough to recognise that she is not yet mature enough to handle all this without our guidance.  It's like a student driver.  It's the mature student driver who understands he is not skilled enough to drive without an instructor by his side; whereas the immature student driver thinks he knows it all and mistakenly believes he doesn't need instruction.

But when I read my daughter's conversations, I realise that most other parents probably AREN'T supervising their kids' activities online.  Swear words abound.  Catty, petty, selfish backstabbing and badmouthing are common.  I know that some of these kids are from Christian households, but it's painfully obvious that the faith of their parents is completely alien to the kids.  They sneer at their parents, and they pour scorn on anyone who tries to be the "good guy".  It's terribly saddening.

That's why I'm so thankful to a friend, who shared with me that every week, he sits down with his wife and kids (who are in their teens), and they have a good solid time sharing their faith journey, and their daily struggles and concerns.  And I can see that it works.  The kids have a great relationship with the parents.  So I started this for my family.  Every Sunday evening, we get together, we have a short time of worship, and then I throw out some issues for discussion - what we're concerned about for the week, what we're learning from God and the circumstances around us.  Then we close off by praying for each other.

At first, I thought it was going to be weird.  But it turned out that the kids loved it.  It's a significant quantity of quality time.  And when tough times come by (yes, just like adults, children do also have challenges and conflicts), there's an immediate checkpoint with God, to allow us to commit the challenge to Him and determine to do the right thing.  And hopefully, we'll continue this for years to come.  Even when they're adults, it will be great to not only be a family by blood, by a family in faith too.

In this way, the wife and I hope to share with our children our own lives - so that they can see how we make decisions, rejoice in victories, and resolve challenges, all with our loving and almighty God as our reference point.  Our children can then see that faith is real, faith is applied, faith is everyday, and faith is answered.  

Our children can see how we live our lives.  How we love each other, how we witness to others, whether we are genuine, loving and faithful, whether we truly live with an audience of One.  One of our pastors shared today in church, it's not uncommon for some parents to tell their kids during exam time - just skip church/cell to study, God will understand.  Yes sure God will understand, but we deprive the chance for our children to be blessed.  Does God not say in Psalm 84:10  Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere?  And as the pastor half-seriously asked - is one extra day of study worth 3 years (approx 1000 days) of blessing?  So when our kids see us behave like this, they end up believing the reverse - that one extra day of study is in fact worth more than God's presence in their lives.

So today, I would like give you the same gift my friend gave to me - a reminder. "Do you know where your children are?"  Do you know where they are on their faith journey?  Do you know whether they are living it out in their daily lives?  I started late too, but it's never too late to start, as long as we start now!

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