Happy endings

Everyone loves happy endings.  We especially love happy endings if they're happening to us.  This is particularly true on social media, where we generally put up happy news on our status updates and blogs.  This tends to make our lives look and sound like the forest of the Smurfs, where everybody is constantly singing "La la la-la-la-la, la la-la-la laaaa...!".  But life isn't really like that at all, is it.  As the subtitle to this blog says - sometimes stories are sad.  And in this case, also somewhat lengthy :P

I have two kids - a 12-year-old daughter Natalie, and a 10-year-old son, Daniel.  This blog post is about Natalie.  Natalie is smart, hardworking and responsible.  And like her Dad, she loves winning.  She's in the best class in a brand-name school (excluding the gifted pupils), and even in that class, she's among the top 5 or so.  I'm really proud of her.

Some of you may have heard of the Direct School Admissions ("DSA") exercise for Primary 6 pupils.  It's a process by which secondary schools offer places to students with special talents in sports, arts or academic fields, even before the PSLE.  Rightly or wrongly, for top schools, the vast majority of spaces is reserved for pupils in the Gifted Education Programme ("GEP").  So non-GEP pupils generally end up fighting over the scraps left to them.  Even though Natalie's actual academic results are pretty stellar, she is a non-GEP student (Daniel on the other hand, is a GEP student. But that's a story for another day).  So Natalie was one of those fighting for a DSA place this year.

Natalie is in a Chinese school.  Natalie's Chinese is actually pretty good - she is in a special programme where, although she is a non-GEP student, she learns Chinese at GEP level.  Historically, a large proportion of pupils from this programme tend to go to a well-known Chinese secondary school (let's call it School A).  A much smaller number of pupils manage to secure places in an even more well-known Chinese school (School B), or another top girls school (School C).  The chances of getting in School B and C are very low, because, as explained above, the vast majority of places are reserved for GEP pupils.

Basically, Natalie's plan was to apply to all three schools, and just take whichever school offered her a place.  We thought that, chances were, she'd get a place in School A (based on historical trends, and the fact that she was among the top pupils in the special Chinese programme), while she had a much smaller chance of getting School B or C.

To Natalie's very great disappointment, almost everyone in her class got an interview with School A, but inexplicably, she didn't.  Even her classmates were puzzled.  As parents, we were upset for her too of course, but we figured perhaps God just didn't want her to go to School A, and so He closed the door, in favour of something even better.

A few days later, Natalie was delighted to get a call to interview for both School B and C.  This was peculiar, since it's generally perceived to be much harder to get an interview at Schools B and C than at School A.  School C had a super rigorous process, and Natalie had to go through two further rounds of testing and interviews.  At the last hurdle, after filtering through hundreds of applicants, she was in a group of 5 vying for selection for her particular field (English).

She didn't make it.  After all the build up, excitement, and getting through multiple rounds.  Door closed.  Again.

First world problems, I know.  But you have to see it from Nat's perspective.  She's just twelve.  All her life, she's seen herself as the Smart One.  But the world was throwing its rejection of her identity in her face. Twice.  Now what?

Well, here's a few things I shared with Nat:

a.  Never waste a good crisis (or two).  Romans 5:3-5 says "... we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given to us."

We don't know what school Natalie will go to.  The PSLE's still to come, and even more importantly, in ten years time, really, no one will care what school Natalie went to.  But everyone will see the character she has - because for good or bad, that character will be evident in everything she does then.  If she can beat this rejection, learn humility, and persevere and overcome, then it will all be worth it.  As an over-protective parent, I think it's a tough thing to ask of a twelve year old, to beat rejection, but if God thinks my girl's character is ready for this shaping, who am I to argue?

b.  Show the world who God is.  For most of her life, Nat has been in a position to win prizes, do well etc.  For the first time, she faces real rejection.  Philippians 4:11-13 says "... I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Let's face it, this current lack of a DSA offer is hardly the end of the world.  But to a twelve year old Singaporean kid (and highly involved parents!), it can look like one.  And it will certainly look like one to her friends too, for those who did get an offer and those who didn't.  It won't be the biggest or last obstacle she or her friends will face in the future.  But Natalie now has a chance to show her friends why God makes the difference, especially to those who don't yet know Him.  She has a chance to show what faith really means, and how a believer responds to adversity - with courage and joyfulness, not envy and bitterness.  What life story would she have to prove her faith, and God's provision, if she wasn't tested?

c.  God's plan is best.  Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."  Jeremiah 29:11-14 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity..."

I've followed God for many years now.  In good times, and in bad (certainly much much worse than the current mini-crisis for Nat), He has never let me down.  He has always had a plan, and one which I know works for my good, even as I walk according to His purposes.  Now is the time for Natalie to experience that for herself.  In 1, 3, 5 or 10 years time, she will always be able to look back and say the same as her old Daddy.  In all things, God works for my good.  I love Him and move according to His purpose.  In short, it's only a matter of having a happy ending now, or a happy ending later.  But a happy ending it surely will be, as she walks in the centre of His will and His love.  Hallelujah :)

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 4:4

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