$3 Pho or $300 omakase??

I got a steak lunch treat from a friend earlier this week, and I must have failed to express the necessary effusiveness about the quality of the meal (for the avoidance of doubt, because I know he reads this blog - it was good :D), because he asked me, actually, what do you like to eat XD

Anyway - my honest answer was, Thai green curry, as well as rice noodles, like Vietnamese pho or Ipoh hor fun.  To which his reaction was, you like simple food!  Yes I do :)

I have to say, over the last few years, for various reasons, I have had some pretty fancy multi-course meals.  I had never heard of "palate cleansers".  Let's face it.  Eating something to forget what you just paid a bomb to eat is just mad.  I had never heard of "omakase" - the idea of forking out enormous sums in order *not* to be able to choose what you want to eat sounds... ridiculous?  But what do I know!

Which brings me to another dinner conversation I had earlier this year.  Someone was telling me - he met this other guy who was considered a front runner for an important leadership position, and his impression was, this guy has no... gravitas.  A sort of *presence*.  Like when someone walks into a room and you know he's arrived.

The funny thing is, we all know what that sort of means, even though it's not so easy to put a finger on what exactly lends itself to gravitas.  So to assuage my curiosity, I asked, what do you mean when you say this guy has insufficient gravitas.  He thought for a bit, then said, you know, he's sort of, too casual?  You don't get the sense that, when he speaks, people will stop and listen.  And too... self-deprecatory?  Almost like he's too much like one of us.  Too... normal.  What's so different about him?  What special connections does he have?  What additional knowledge or life experience does he have?  What would make him able to champion our cause better than the rest of us?

And I suddenly had an epiphany.  Oh my gosh.  It's true.  People do pick leaders who *look the part*.  People who seem to have some special knowledge or intellect that we don't.  Or access to the rich and influential.  Or sophistication and life experience to navigate the corridors of power.

Like the scales had fallen from my eyes, I realised that so many of the successful people I know have this knack.  They frequently and adroitly namedrop their familiarity with a wide network of politicians, tycoons and leaders.  They share dinner stories of the fancy places to eat and the cool places to travel.  They appreciate the finer things in life - whether it's wine or art or theatre.  They have opinions about politics, economics and science.  Many truly have substance behind the facade.  Some don't, but just the appearance of sophistication and connectivity can take someone pretty far!

Meanwhile, what have I been doing?!  Turning up my nose at sophistication, proudly proclaiming that I can't tell a red from a white, get my shirts in China rather than France (or wherever it is people are supposed to get fancy shirts from, I really don't know, but France seems a good guess XD), don't own a watch, and can't stand the cocktail scene.  Everybody's playing the game, while I've been furiously sprinting the wrong way, scoring own goals and then wildly celebrating *facepalm*

I think that those born to wealth and power have something of a natural advantage in this aspect.  They've known this from their youth, because their connections really work.  Their connections get them into exclusive places and render valuable opportunities.  The best business opportunities go to the richest, best connected people.  Great job openings, promotions and directorships come from the same network.

Those from a more prosaic environment need a bit more time to realise the value of connections (or at least *appearing* to have connections), because our connections kind of don't really do anything for us :P  I mean, no one's going to walk up to us on the street and say, hey wanna get in early on Alibaba shares?  No, they go to Masayoshi Son.  No one's going to call us up and say, hey wanna be CEO?  No, they go to someone already in the same social echelon.  About the best lobang we get is, omigosh, the nasi lemak burger is back at McDonalds!!! XD

I don't know about you, but it's only much later that some of us realise, you mean connections can get you THAT and not just "did you know grapes are 50% off at Giant today"?!

How do I reconcile this worldly truth with what Jesus teaches me?  There is such a thing as being too able a student of what the world teaches me, and risk actually getting good at showing off, and becoming the very sort of person I'd been turning up my nose at all these years! 

How do I know which compass I'm still following?  I know this heart is prone to wander, so to consistently remind me of True North, many years ago, I set my WhatsApp tag to quote Philippians 2:3-4.  The New Living Translation puts the first part well "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves."

It's a tricky thing to navigate.  God does put people in places of influence, so that they can do great things, not for themselves, but for Him. But how do I know if I'm working towards that worthy goal of being in a position to influence people for God and for good, rather than for selfish desire and vain ambition? 

I suppose the answer is in the very next verse of the passage above: "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves... not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others". 

It's a straightforward and brutally honest test - influence can be a helpful and good thing.  But if I gain influence or exercise it, who benefits?  Just me?  Or someone else...?

Make me *this* kind of influencer Lord!