I never see you, how come you can see me?

A colleague once related to me that at a particular trial, a police officer gave evidence that he observed the accused at the scene of the crime.  When the accused cross-examined the police officer, the accused's argument was "I never see you, how come you can see me?!"  Needless to say, the court was not impressed by this logic...

The fact is that, people are observing us all the time, even when we are not observing them.  2 Corinthians 3:2 says "You yourselves are our letter... known and read by everyone.  You show that you are a letter from Christ... written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts"

Two friends gave me a really encouraging reminder of this truth recently.  One was an ex-colleague from many years ago, and she told me that she was just talking with someone about how I make it a practice to be extra welcoming to the new graduates/management associates when they join the company.  I don't recall or understand how she knows about this, but I take these newbies out for lunch, offer advice when they need it, and invite them to bread distribution so they can see that meaningful work continues outside the office too. 

However, I must confess that I had grown a little tired of it recently, because it's just not easy to reach across the generation gap, organise lunches and meet-ups and stay youthfully enthusiastic about it!  But I am reminded that, apparently, someone sees and remembers what I'm doing, so I shall press on - thank you F!

Just this same week, another colleague of mine called me out to lunch.  He asked for some feedback as to how he had done in a recent meeting.  I said I thought he was great!  He then said, "This must be an incredibly busy and stressful time for you, because I know you recently had to step in and take over a huge bunch of things at short notice.  But at that meeting, you were really calm and fine.  How do you do that?" 

Again - pretty scary that people are observing my demeanour!  Thank God I was able to explain to my colleague - of course I get stressed in the moment!  Beneath the calm surface, those little ducky legs are paddling like mad =D  But, the nice thing is, those moments pass.  I know who I am, and whose I am.  God has a plan for me.  Maybe this season He just needed me to work a bit harder, make life a bit messier.  I don't need to worry - I know I'm following Him, and so I know whatever happens, I'm where I'm supposed to be, and best of all, He is here with me, even in the messy places.  Thank God that He enables me to be calm in the storm - otherwise how would anyone know that He is with me?

In case you think I've got it all together all the time, I haven't!  My church small group family sees me on a weekly basis, and they know I have my faults.  My parents have known me since I was a kid, and they know I have lots of faults!  But my best and most honest critics are my wife and children, who REALLY see me for who I am on a daily basis.  They see that I can be impatient, quick-tempered and selfish when I don't get my way.  Thank you dear family, for your patience with me!

As you might guess from the above, my point is that people look at our lives, and draw pretty reasonable conclusions about us, and what we stand for.  Yet it's popular in these self-indulgent days to proclaim: be yourself, follow your heart, don't care what others think.  And it's true that all we can do is be the best me that we can be.  It's also true that if we are being the best me, then others' opinion of how we are doing shouldn't matter very much.

But "be yourself" is not a licence for hedonism, and doesn't mean complacency with my state of being.  Because my natural self is full of selfishness: I want to be happy; I want the best for myself; I want the world to shape itself around my needs.  That can't be right!  So "be yourself" should really mean taking the best parts of me, and making them useful to others, and not merely being the best for me. 

And making myself useful to others necessarily involves caring about how others think and feel.  Not caring what they think of me, but caring about what they think when they think of me. 

It would be nice for me if I was the cleverest, most successful and popular person everywhere I go. However, it's useless if people think someone is clever or successful or popular, but all they feel is "Oh, how unfair life is!" or "Oh, I'll never be like that!".  Instead, our lives should inspire them to think, "I am encouraged!", "I am happy!", "I am loved!".

What a hard thing to do!  Thankfully, God surrounds me with family and friends and colleagues who show me how to do this by example. Thankfully, He Himself showed me this example through Jesus who gave His life for me.  Today, may I learn to be that kind of example to others!