Don't settle, don't step back, and don't sweat it!
A really cosmic moment struck me when my boy came back from the 3-day orientation camp and said, "Daddy! You know all those things you keep saying to me, like "do things right the first time", and "have a sense of urgency"? They say EXACTLY the same things at this school, in EXACTLY the same way!"
So weird and yet so fitting that what the school taught me, I have taught to my son, and things have come full circle in that the school is now reinforcing in my son what I have taught him.
Providentially, one of my new year resolutions is to spend more time deliberately coaching my children, as well as my younger friends in the industry. So at home, I consciously take time to share what I have learned over the years in school, university, and in the office. Outside of home, I have organised a monthly lunch session for young people to connect with each other and share life and career lessons. I hope I can make this useful for them and keep it up!
So at the lunch, I plan to share a couple of things, starting with this - don't settle, you can be outstanding! One of my favourite authors, A.W. Tozer said this, "Refuse to be average. Let your heart soar as high as it will". In any given situation, we can and should aspire to be outstanding.
It's also been said that if we only do what everyone else does, then we will only get what everyone else gets. While it's easy enough to say this, it's not quite so easy to do. Often, we are influenced by our environment. Some situations just make us forget that we can be special. That God gave us specific talents, to do specific things. Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which He prepared in advance for us to do."
Sometimes we need to make a change to remind ourselves that yes, we are special. I remember that before I went to University, I decided that I had had enough of feeling average. So I chose to stay in a hall of residence that had almost no one else from my faculty (whom I felt, rightly or wrongly, was full of talented people whom I had known from secondary school and junior college, among whom I would never have the chance to shine).
There, in that new environment, I was determined, in the words of the Zootopia theme song, to Try Everything. I joined the choir. I joined the dance team. I joined the newsletter. I joined the basketball team. I joined the debate team. I ran for Vice-President of the Hall (ok fine, I only won because I was unopposed :D). I ran the freshmen orientation camp. All opportunities I would not have dared to take in my old environment.
The honest truth is, I am not terribly talented. Otherwise I would have shone much earlier. However, a simple refusal to settle, and the intent to be more than average, did make a difference.
I had never been in a choir before. But after joining the hall choir, I even had the chance to join the combined halls choir. I wasn't all that good, but what a great opportunity to learn and enjoy those who could really sing!
I would never have gotten into the debate team of that hall which was full of lawyers, all better speakers than me. But here, in a different environment, I did get in the team. And when we got to the finals against that other debate team full of lawyers, we actually beat them. I couldn't believe it myself, because individually, it was quite clear that they were superior.
I had never danced before (and if you know me personally, I am the epitome of awkward, with arms and legs everywhere). But with the support of excessively kind teammates who covered for all my inadequacies, and just sheer lack of embarrassment on my part, our team actually got all the way to the finals, won a prize, and I got to perform in front of hundreds of people, at shows in shopping malls and even once appeared in the papers (thankfully at the back, behind my much more talented teammates).
So, so far, it sounds like "if you put your mind to it, you can do anything"! But if it is really so simple, why doesn't everyone do it?
Do you know what really really underpinned all this sudden non-averageness? It was this. Right at the start of University, I was invited to a Christian talk. I was mostly a Sunday Christian then, turning up on weekends, but not having anything beyond that.
And when I got to the talk, the speaker said this, from Revelation 3:15-16 "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth"!
That really struck me like a thunderbolt. Oh my gosh, that's me. A lukewarm believer. An average life. So I decided to change. Not just my physical life, but my spiritual one.
Refusing to settle for average is hard. That's why reversion to the mean is a well-observed phenomenon! And that's why going it alone, by my own strength, is not practicable. I run out of steam. I revert to the mean. So who or what keeps me going? More achievements? More rewards? Bigger targets and milestones? Nope. It is this:
Whom have I in heaven, but You?
And earth has nothing I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart may fail
But God is the strength of my heart
And my portion forever.
Psalm 73:25-26
So, while it is important not to settle and not to step back, it is hard - even seemingly impossible. Thankfully, we don't have to sweat it. God's got your back if you ask Him. Hudson Taylor said this "I have found that there are three stages to every great work of God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then... it is done!"
I've found this to be astoundingly true, and if you want to hear more, join me for lunch :)
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