You can do it!... Really?

Everyone wants their kids to do well, whether in school, or in some hobby or sport, because we want them to succeed in life in general.  And we know that the lessons they learn as they succeed or fail, help them to grow into the adults they will be.

I don't know about you, but one of the most common things I say to my kids is "You can do it!".  When faced with a challenge - "You can do it!".  When faced with a setback - "You can bounce back!". When they achieve a milestone - "You did a great job!".  It particularly frustrates me when I perceive that they are not trying hard enough, or are giving up too easily, or simply don't believe that something can be done.  After all, it's one thing to fail, but quite a different thing not to give your best, or even to make the attempt, because of laziness or self-doubt.

Many times, I have often said things along the lines of "Believe in yourself!  Spit in the face of difficulty!  Summon up your courage and fill your belly with fire!  Try!  Fight!  Overcome!  Prove the doubters wrong!  You CAN do it!"

But yesterday, I learned something simple and yet mindblowing from my pastor.  She came to visit us at our cell group, and after cell was over, we happened to talk about kids, and she shared her own practice with her kids.  What to say when kids face challenges and self-doubt?  Not "You can do it", but rather, "The Cross!  You have victory!"  And teach them to have the same mindset.  Not just you saying it to them, but kids learning this truth for themselves, so that it is not second-hand faith, but first-hand.

The clarity of that truth being spoken was like scales being lifted from my eyes.  My rah-rah coach-on-the-sidelines faux-motivational speaker talk about "Believe in yourself!" may sound great in the ears of the world.  So what I've been telling my kids for years is... "You can do it as long as you believe in yourself/work hard"... but... seriously?  With all our tremendous limitations and faults and bad habits?  And more than that, with all the circumstances around us that are out of our control?  When you put it that way... it sounds ridiculous!

No!  Not believe in yourself... but believe in Jesus!

2 Corinthians 12:9-11 says "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Looking back, every noteworthy success I have ever had, has come in an area that I was absolutely no good at, but told God "Help me, I have no idea what I'm doing!  But You do!".  And He came through.

I am no soldier.  I get lost when I walk in a shopping centre, much less a jungle.  I am about as garang as a rabbit.  But by God's grace alone, despite my lack of soldierliness, I became a Major in the Army and I even miss being out on exercise now that I have completed my reservist commitment.

I am no lawyer.  I used to be terrified of public speaking, and the one consistent line in my school report books is "A quiet boy".  But by God's grace alone, despite my limitations, today I am a lawyer, and the very core of my job is to speak up!

I am no shepherd.  By instinct, I shy away from people.  I get the creeps when people get mystical on me.  But by God's grace alone, despite my natural instincts, I am a leader of a cell group that is full of love and good works.

Believe in myself?  No.  Then circumstance and talent would have dictated failure for me at every juncture.  Instead, every step of the way, it was the victory of the Cross.  So God, I boast of my weakness, for where I am weak, You are strong!

Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

God, I am no parent.  I can barely look after myself.  I am impatient and selfish.  But help me to become a great father!  And remind me to teach my children, not "You can do it!" but "Jesus has done it!"

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