Are you prepared to press "delete"?

I went out for lunch with a couple of colleagues recently, and the topic of Flappy Birds, Candy Crush and other similarly addictive games came up.  One of my colleagues shared that she and her whole family spent a lot of time on mobile games, and asked me if I faced any challenges in disciplining my children on computer game time.

Now I must confess that my son does spend quite a lot of time on computer games.  I myself enjoy playing games whenever time permits.  Some of these games are really ingeniously designed to encourage never-ending game time.  They often do this by compelling the player to frequently check on his progress in real time, or giving in-game rewards for extended, regular or frequent gameplay.

I’m nowhere near being a paragon of computer game time discipline.  But I have discovered a good tool that I use from time to time.  My son knows that I like to play computer games too.  So one time, when he was, as usual, asking for just 5 more minutes of playtime, I gave him the usual talk about self-control, and how he controls Super Mario, and does not let Super Mario control him.  But talk is cheap.  So I took out the iPad and showed him my favourite game, that he knew I had invested countless hours in.  And I deleted it in front of him.  Then I said to him, “That, is control.  I control the game.  Not the other way round”.  He was suitably impressed and stopped his game.

As you probably can guess, before I decided to hit delete, every fibre of my being was screaming “NOOOOOOO!!!!  Hours of effort gone!!!!  Don’t do it!!!!”  It was terribly painful and it required a lot of willpower to actually go ahead to tap that little “X”.  But the funny thing is, I very quickly felt a huge sense of relief and freedom too.  A couple of minutes later, I turned to the iPad and realised I no longer had to check the game every hour or so.  I no longer had to log in everyday to ensure that I picked up the daily rewards.  I no longer thought about how I was just “x” points away from the next level.  It was great.  I was no longer a slave to the game.

I did pick up different games after that of course.  But the next time I needed to show my son self-control, it was much easier to hit delete.  Even better, while I was playing the game, the compulsion to keep playing was greatly diminished, because I knew that at some point, I would hit delete.  In fact, I often don’t even bother picking up games now, because I’m not prepared to make an investment in something I know I will shortly throw away.  In short, I’ve internalized the truth that my investment in a game will definitively become a dead loss at a point in the near future.

This useful parenting and time-management tool has evolved into a pretty profound life lesson for me.  What are the things that I’m not prepared to press “delete” on?  My career?  My sense of significance in the workplace or even in the church ministry?  My pride in my children’s obedience or academic or other performance?  My home and financial resources?  My holidays?  My reading and computer leisure time?  My support for Liverpool?!?!

Pressing “delete” takes practice.  The fact of the matter is, everything we hold is temporal.  And at the end of our lives, it is not only "delete", but "control-alt-delete, reboot new life in heaven"!  But we forget.  So we need reminders that the things we hold onto are transient.  The more we practise letting go, the easier it is to let go.  The easier it is to let go, the less obsessed we are about the things we have, even while we have them.  We will always have things in our hands, as long as we live.  The question is, do they control us, or do we control them?  Are we prepared to let them go when we need to?

I should make clear that this is not a matter of letting go merely as a matter of empty principle – making oneself empty for the sake of it is an equally (actually, even more) futile enterprise.  Rather, we make ourselves empty so that we can be filled with what is of eternal worth - God's specific and loving plan for each one of us, to fulfil the good purposes He has set out for us.

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.  What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? 

Mark 8:34-36

Once we learn to fix our eyes on the eternal, God promises that He care for us in the present:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also…  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:19-21, 31-33

Wherever we are in life - young, old, rich, poor, successful or struggling, and especially if you are busy - take the time to sit down and soberly contemplate “is there something I should practise deleting today?”.  May we all continue to learn and practise to let go, and let God!