The truth in love

It's the politically correct thing these days to embrace plurality and tolerance.  Let's be clear.  In general, this is a good thing.  But the trouble is that we mix up tolerance with fuzzy thinking.

Let's suppose you have a friend who likes to drink wine.  You have a view that drinking too much alcohol is bad for your health.  On the contrary, your friend thinks that drinking wine actually has certain medicinal benefits.  We embrace plurality and tolerance in that we don't condemn the teetotaler or the wine lover.  This seems to make sense.

But, whatever we happen to think about a particular matter, there still remains a particular truth.  On balance, is drinking wine good or bad for you?  We may not know the answer, and may not have the means to find out conclusively, but ultimately, there is a truth out there as to whether drinking wine is, on the whole, good or bad for you.

Let's adjust the scenario a bit to test this.  Suppose you have a friend who has a habit of cheating on parking coupons.  You have a view that cheating on coupons is not right.  Your friend thinks there's nothing wrong with cheating on coupons - after all, he accepts the fair bargain that if he is caught, he simply pays the fine.  Again, we probably won't condemn either person for their point of view, but there is a truth out there as to whether cheating on coupons is right or wrong.  And perhaps the answer is a bit clearer than it is for wine drinking.

One more scenario.  What if your friend has a habit of cheating on his spouse?  You think it's unacceptable.  He thinks all men are made this way.  We're probably finding it harder and harder to not get upset with this friend who drinks too much, cheats on coupons, and cheats on his wife right?  But plurality and tolerance is whispering in our ear - live and let live, who are we to judge that what he is doing is wrong?  Yet there is a truth out there.  Is cheating on your spouse right or wrong?

There's an amazing truth to be shared here.  God deeply loves every man and woman, even those who choose to do wrong, so much that He sent His Son Jesus to take the punishment for every one of our sins.  He CHOOSES not to condemn us, even when we are wrong.  BUT that doesn't make the wrong things we've done right, or acceptable.

As we learn to love people as much as God loves us, it's important to keep in sight that loving someone does not mean endorsing or accepting his conduct.  If a child cheats on his homework, his parents still love him, and precisely because they love him, they will teach him that it's not right to cheat on homework.

As seen in the scenarios above, it isn't always obvious what conduct's right and what's not.  Some things are crystal clear, and some are not.  The grey part's difficult.  But simply defaulting to the position that we shouldn't judge and that everything is acceptable is lazy.  There is a truth out there.  We don't necessarily need to care whether blue is indeed the new black, or on the merits of Liverpool over Manchester United (clearly, Liverpool is the right choice.  Hah!).  But on issues that matter, we really should have a position on what is right or wrong, while remaining open to hearing opposing views, in case we ourselves are wrong.

It may sound odd, but it's when we no longer care what the truth is, or worse, don't care about the person we are talking to, that we say to them, everything's OK, do whatever makes you happy.  We wouldn't do that with your children, would we?  So why would it be OK with anyone we truly care about - our friends, our neighbours, our colleagues?

So the next time we think to ourselves, who are we to judge, think again - do you really mean "who cares?".  What do you believe about the situation?  Should you care enough about it to have an opinion?  Do you care enough about the people involved to share that opinion?

If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
1 John 1:8

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 
Ephesians 4:14

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