My brother's passing
My brother.
Adjusting to life after my brother's passing is tough. There are a lot of practical things to be done of course. But for me, the hard part is dealing with memories.
Endless discussions on Liverpool FC (because he is only one I know who is prepared to be as nutty as me); the last thing I bought for him (football boots which we never got to use because it rained on the day we were supposed to go and play); the last game we watched together (Liverpool 3-1 Everton, Steven Gerrard got sent off and Phil Neville scored an own goal); the messes we made in the house growing up (smashed our hanging light while kicking a pillow. OK OK it was me); sharing our toys (Mask, transformers, He-man!!); staying up all night watching him play computer games like Superstar soccer, sensible soccer, Lakers v Celtics etc (because I'm terrible at computer games and can only enjoy them vicariously); patting him to sleep on our mattress on the floor when we were small etc.
Even writing about these things now is not easy. For my parents, I guess it must be even tougher, because they have even more memories and they continued to stay together with him when I moved out after marrying.
Obviously, I wish this tragedy had never happened. Still, God's promise is that all things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose (Rom 8:28). ALL things. And there are certainly some things that I can thank God for, even in the midst of sadness.
a. I have discovered that my faith is more unshakeable than I thought. Or to put it more accurately, the person in whom I have put my mustard seed of faith is more unshakeable than I realised. Throughout the last desperate month, God never once let me suffer any wavering in my trust that He would continue to look after us and that He is still in control. I realised this when one of the first things I thought of doing was to call Eugene to make sure that our colleagues who were invited to go to the Family Festival would still go, since I would not be able to attend. God's work must still go on. We may stumble, but He cannot be thwarted.
b. God has a plan. Through this tragedy, my parents have drawn closer to God. Better still, they have agreed that they should reach out to my grandmother and aunties. This is a great breakthrough. So one day perhaps we can learn to rejoice, like Paul, that "what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel" (Phi 1:12). The timing of God's plan is also immaculate. I literally JUST moved to a new place that has 3 bedrooms (prev place only had 2 usable bedrooms). This enabled me to take in my parents to stay with me. Of course I didn't know this at the time I decided to move. I thought I would have 1 room for each of my children. But my God knows better!
c. God answers prayers. At the start of the year, we were challenged to ask big of God. So I wrote down three things which I desperately wanted. First, to bring my brother back to God. Second, to see a real life supernatural miracle. Third, to bring my grandmother to the saving knowledge of Christ. All seemed impossible at the time. My brother only attended church very irregularly. Asking for a supernatural miracle also seemed wacky (I have another good story on a supernatural miracle I've actually witnessed, but that's for another day). My language barrier with my grandmother seemed insurmountable.
Yet God chose to answer my prayers - and two of them at the same time.
At my brother's passing, I wondered if he was saved. Would I see him again? And how would I know? As we were driving back from the crematorium, we saw something that made us absolutely certain.
Do you remember the waterspout about a month ago? Well, you may have seen it on TV, but the pictures don't do justice to what we saw. It's not the first time I've seen a waterspout - I've seen any number of them over the years, usually pretty far out at sea. This one really was different - it was HUGE. Nearer to shore than any I've seen before.
So when we got back to my apartment, we rushed up to see if we could still see it from the window. At first, we thought it had dissipated, but then we saw the waterspout actually slowly RE-APPEAR, forming a column down from the clouds (yes I know. Isn't the water supposed to spiral UP into the clouds? But by this time the waterspout was over land and it was clearly growing downwards from the clouds) and swirling RIGHT IN FRONT of our block! It really looked like a huge finger reaching down from the sky, before slowly and gently drawing itself back into the clouds. There was a sudden, brief, cool shower, then the sky cleared.
It was then that I realised God had just spoken (and now I know what the pillar of cloud must have looked like to Moses and the Israelites). For everyone else, it's just a news story, but for me, I had seen His mighty hand stir the heavens - it was a sign just for me and my family, sent right to my window. In His mercy, He had received my brother (no doubt rather embarrassed, as probably most of us will be, for having not talked to God more regularly).
At the same time, He had revealed Himself to us with a supernatural sign. In His compassion He had revealed Himself to us to comfort us in our grief. And so two of my prayers had been answered. And that very night, my parents told me that they would speak to my grandmother more about Christ. I trust that He will answer our prayers by the end of the year.
Do we believe that God continues to speak? And if He speaks, will we hear? And if we hear, will we obey? Dear friends, act today. It is not always easy to follow Christ, but if as Christians we live any other way, we deceive ourselves. Living as Christians is more than going to church and chatting with friends. It is more than going for bible study. It is more than having an emergency hotline. It is more than reading inspiring articles, devotionals or books. We need to walk with him, talk with him, and work with him, SO THAT day by day we are TRANSFORMED and CONFORMED TO HIS LIKENESS (Rom 8:29 and Rom 12:2). Are we serious about being transformed? Do we see evidence of our transformation? And what is His desire? That none should perish. What is our desire?
One day, perhaps sooner than we think, we will be called to account for the time, people and resources that God has lent us. For me, the lesson has been learned the hard way. Time is short. Will we continue to test God's mercy and patience?
If we decide we will truly seek Him, He promises "Call to me and I WILL answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" Jer 33:3
We know that things will not be easy. Because if they always are, we can't be carrying the cross can we? In fact it is entirely possible that the more we try to do God's work, the more the devil may try to oppose us. But we know that God has crushed the serpent's head under His heel. And so we know that we walk in victory. Indeed "thanks be to God, who ALWAYS leads us TRIUMPHAL procession in Christ and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him." 2 Cor 2:14.
We know life is going to be tough. We need every bit of strength, encouragement and wisdom we can get. Why not walk with our unshakeable, unchangeable, forever faithful God? "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a TESTED stone, a precious cornerstone for a SURE foundation; the one who trusts will NEVER be dismayed." Isa 28:16 and "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock" Matt 7:25.
Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen sleep in him. 1 Thess 4:13-14
Adjusting to life after my brother's passing is tough. There are a lot of practical things to be done of course. But for me, the hard part is dealing with memories.
Endless discussions on Liverpool FC (because he is only one I know who is prepared to be as nutty as me); the last thing I bought for him (football boots which we never got to use because it rained on the day we were supposed to go and play); the last game we watched together (Liverpool 3-1 Everton, Steven Gerrard got sent off and Phil Neville scored an own goal); the messes we made in the house growing up (smashed our hanging light while kicking a pillow. OK OK it was me); sharing our toys (Mask, transformers, He-man!!); staying up all night watching him play computer games like Superstar soccer, sensible soccer, Lakers v Celtics etc (because I'm terrible at computer games and can only enjoy them vicariously); patting him to sleep on our mattress on the floor when we were small etc.
Even writing about these things now is not easy. For my parents, I guess it must be even tougher, because they have even more memories and they continued to stay together with him when I moved out after marrying.
Obviously, I wish this tragedy had never happened. Still, God's promise is that all things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose (Rom 8:28). ALL things. And there are certainly some things that I can thank God for, even in the midst of sadness.
a. I have discovered that my faith is more unshakeable than I thought. Or to put it more accurately, the person in whom I have put my mustard seed of faith is more unshakeable than I realised. Throughout the last desperate month, God never once let me suffer any wavering in my trust that He would continue to look after us and that He is still in control. I realised this when one of the first things I thought of doing was to call Eugene to make sure that our colleagues who were invited to go to the Family Festival would still go, since I would not be able to attend. God's work must still go on. We may stumble, but He cannot be thwarted.
b. God has a plan. Through this tragedy, my parents have drawn closer to God. Better still, they have agreed that they should reach out to my grandmother and aunties. This is a great breakthrough. So one day perhaps we can learn to rejoice, like Paul, that "what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel" (Phi 1:12). The timing of God's plan is also immaculate. I literally JUST moved to a new place that has 3 bedrooms (prev place only had 2 usable bedrooms). This enabled me to take in my parents to stay with me. Of course I didn't know this at the time I decided to move. I thought I would have 1 room for each of my children. But my God knows better!
c. God answers prayers. At the start of the year, we were challenged to ask big of God. So I wrote down three things which I desperately wanted. First, to bring my brother back to God. Second, to see a real life supernatural miracle. Third, to bring my grandmother to the saving knowledge of Christ. All seemed impossible at the time. My brother only attended church very irregularly. Asking for a supernatural miracle also seemed wacky (I have another good story on a supernatural miracle I've actually witnessed, but that's for another day). My language barrier with my grandmother seemed insurmountable.
Yet God chose to answer my prayers - and two of them at the same time.
At my brother's passing, I wondered if he was saved. Would I see him again? And how would I know? As we were driving back from the crematorium, we saw something that made us absolutely certain.
Do you remember the waterspout about a month ago? Well, you may have seen it on TV, but the pictures don't do justice to what we saw. It's not the first time I've seen a waterspout - I've seen any number of them over the years, usually pretty far out at sea. This one really was different - it was HUGE. Nearer to shore than any I've seen before.
So when we got back to my apartment, we rushed up to see if we could still see it from the window. At first, we thought it had dissipated, but then we saw the waterspout actually slowly RE-APPEAR, forming a column down from the clouds (yes I know. Isn't the water supposed to spiral UP into the clouds? But by this time the waterspout was over land and it was clearly growing downwards from the clouds) and swirling RIGHT IN FRONT of our block! It really looked like a huge finger reaching down from the sky, before slowly and gently drawing itself back into the clouds. There was a sudden, brief, cool shower, then the sky cleared.
It was then that I realised God had just spoken (and now I know what the pillar of cloud must have looked like to Moses and the Israelites). For everyone else, it's just a news story, but for me, I had seen His mighty hand stir the heavens - it was a sign just for me and my family, sent right to my window. In His mercy, He had received my brother (no doubt rather embarrassed, as probably most of us will be, for having not talked to God more regularly).
At the same time, He had revealed Himself to us with a supernatural sign. In His compassion He had revealed Himself to us to comfort us in our grief. And so two of my prayers had been answered. And that very night, my parents told me that they would speak to my grandmother more about Christ. I trust that He will answer our prayers by the end of the year.
Do we believe that God continues to speak? And if He speaks, will we hear? And if we hear, will we obey? Dear friends, act today. It is not always easy to follow Christ, but if as Christians we live any other way, we deceive ourselves. Living as Christians is more than going to church and chatting with friends. It is more than going for bible study. It is more than having an emergency hotline. It is more than reading inspiring articles, devotionals or books. We need to walk with him, talk with him, and work with him, SO THAT day by day we are TRANSFORMED and CONFORMED TO HIS LIKENESS (Rom 8:29 and Rom 12:2). Are we serious about being transformed? Do we see evidence of our transformation? And what is His desire? That none should perish. What is our desire?
One day, perhaps sooner than we think, we will be called to account for the time, people and resources that God has lent us. For me, the lesson has been learned the hard way. Time is short. Will we continue to test God's mercy and patience?
If we decide we will truly seek Him, He promises "Call to me and I WILL answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" Jer 33:3
We know that things will not be easy. Because if they always are, we can't be carrying the cross can we? In fact it is entirely possible that the more we try to do God's work, the more the devil may try to oppose us. But we know that God has crushed the serpent's head under His heel. And so we know that we walk in victory. Indeed "thanks be to God, who ALWAYS leads us TRIUMPHAL procession in Christ and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him." 2 Cor 2:14.
We know life is going to be tough. We need every bit of strength, encouragement and wisdom we can get. Why not walk with our unshakeable, unchangeable, forever faithful God? "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a TESTED stone, a precious cornerstone for a SURE foundation; the one who trusts will NEVER be dismayed." Isa 28:16 and "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock" Matt 7:25.
Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen sleep in him. 1 Thess 4:13-14
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