Above all else

In my usual furiously organised way, I have a recurring weekend schedule that includes various chores spread across the weekends in any given month.  This morning, it was: clean out all the toilet floortraps; mop all the toilets, the stairwell and laundry area; silicon spray the blinds and doors; empty all the robot vacuums of dust (and hair!) and wash the mop pads; and deep water the grass. As you can imagine, this takes up a fair amount of time, though I always feel a perverse sense of achievement when I'm done XD Then I sat down with my wife to work through some family issues, logistical and others, before sending off correspondence and instructions to various service providers. Felt a lot like work. Then my wife went off with my son to look after her parents, run errands for them, spend time bringing them out and making them happy. In the meantime, I sat down to read through all the financial and audit reports, and the annual reports for church and our associated charities, bec...

I'm reading Give and Take by Adam Grant. I'm about a quarter of the way through, and have been intrigued by his characterisation of people as "givers", "takers" and "matchers".  The default mindset and actions of a "giver" are to add more value into the eco-system than they take out. "Takers" aim to take more value out than they put in. "Matchers" (which apparently is most people) seek reciprocity - you scratch my back, I scratch yours. Most people think that "good guys finish last". Grant's research suggests that this is partly true. As an example, medical students who are "givers" tend to gravitate toward the bottom of the pile. They spend time and effort helping others, and end up with less time for themselves. So who's at the top of the pile?  Interestingly, also the givers ! Why? In the beginning, when results are strongly correlated with individual effort, givers lose out. But as the c...