Above all else

There's a video circulating on social media this week, that discusses what factors are a predictor of success in school and life.  The speaker's suggestion?  Unsurprisingly, that it's not IQ, nor even social intelligence, but apparently, grit.  What is grit?  The video essentially describes it as determination for the long haul. I like the qualifier "for the long haul".  In sports, we watch games where one team fights right to the end, makes a dramatic comeback, and prevails in the end.  We sometimes call that "determination".  There's another video that's done the rounds, about a kid who almost single-handedly leads his tug-of-war team to victory by doggedly refusing to be dragged across the line, even when, at one point, he was the only one left on his team.  These are all great and dramatic examples.  But... they're one offs.  Can you come back and do that again?  And again?  And again? Tim Duncan, widely regarded as...

At our usual weekend family talks, we take turns to share what God has spoken to us about in the past week - sometimes it's a situation at work or school, usually people-related, and other times, it's about some introspective revelation.  My thought of the week for myself was - I need to stop feeding my pride - the more I feed it, the hungrier it gets!  I was reminded of the ever-greedy Venus Fly-trap in the Little Shop of Horrors - "FEED ME SEYMOUR, FEED ME!" I have the privilege of being a leader at home, at work, and in a small way, in church.  I don't think I am a natural leader in the sense of having any great charisma, but like many skills, leadership can be cultivated through willing practice.  Practising to be a leader is a good thing - 1 Timothy 3:1 says "Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.  Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach..." Th...

We've all read way too much about inheritances over the last month or two.  As children, we have a responsibility to build on, and not tear down the legacy of our parents.  But equally, as parents, we have a responsibility to train our children to do so.  As an example, making multiple wills, depending on which kid we like more at a particular point of time, is Not A Good Idea.  Why?  Because it incentivizes our children to behave in such a way as to influence the will, believing that the will can in fact be changed at a whim.  This in turn incentivizes children to compete with each other for affection for all the wrong reasons, and when competitive children are involved, this naturally leads to conflict. Yet I also understand that as I get older, it's quite possible that I will get insecure, perhaps financially, when I no longer have an income, but more likely, emotionally, when my children have their own families and their world no longer orbits min...

I have the great privilege of going on holidays with my wife and kids - cheaper airfares and a stronger Sing dollar compared to when I was a kid mean that many more options are now open to us!  I know some people's idea of a holiday is to chill out on the beach.  Others involve hiking through jungles or mountains.  I don't know what kind of tourist are you, but I'm the type who likes to walk around and see stuff.  I particularly like urban attractions - buildings, museums, monuments, gardens.  So my wife and kids get dragged around various places, and it's not uncommon for us to log 20+ km by foot in a day!  My eyes get all wide open at the amazing things around me. So a while ago I got back from holiday and it was back to work, with the usual Monday morning meeting.  Our meeting room happens to overlook Lau Pa Sat.  I've seen it a thousand times, and eaten there hundreds of times.  But as I was sitting at the meeting room table, someho...