Above all else

One of the most interesting lessons I learned in the years I spent as a trial lawyer, was to pick my battles.  Sometimes, the judge is with you on some points, and not on others.  Good lawyers, whether at trial or when arguing an appeal, identify where the judge stands, pick the most advantageous battleground, and secure the win where the judge is on their side.  But just as important is the more subtle skill of knowing where NOT to fight.  Test the boundaries where the judge is against you, to see if there are ways around the issue, and then wisely retreat as required, instead of banging heads against the wall in futility, because if you frustrate the judge with unbending stubbornness, even your strong points get diluted. But real life is not entirely like the courtroom.  The courtroom is a transactional arena of very binary consequences - win or lose; and within a constrained timeframe - the period of the trial or appeal, which in some cases, can be over...

The polarisation of political and social opinion grows increasingly radical.  This "us" and "them" mentality is like a centrifuge, spinning ever more rapidly, and attracting like elements to opposite ends of the spectrum.  Politics, from Australia, to Asia, to Europe and the US, bear only the most obvious consequence of polarisation, because of media publicity.  But polarisation has its roots in the ground.  The local worker demonises the immigrants whom he believes are are taking his job.  The immigrant believes the locals are close-minded and xenophobic.  The rich and successful 1% say the 99% don't succeed because they are lazy and stupid.  The 99% protest against the 1% for being corrupt and selfish.  Which is true? Perhaps this is inevitable snapback from a time in which truth has been said to be relative for too long.  The fact is, there is truth.  Even within the so-called liberal space, where the calling card has been that ...

As parents, our job is to love our children unconditionally.  But while we love them as they are, we love them too much to merely leave them the way they are.  That's what parenting means - from the moment they are born, even till they are old.  To train them to be better people. To use the potty.  To say please and thank you.  To be honest.  To work hard.  To be determined.  To be kind.  To be grateful. When my kids were small, I had visibility over almost everything they did.  I knew who their schoolmates were in kindergarten and primary school.  I knew when they had homework to do.  I knew what their hobbies and interests were.  I knew whom they were quarreling with, and whom they were best friends with. As my kids grew older, they started doing more things on their own.  Making their own friends, keeping their own schedules, pursuing their own projects, managing their own conflicts and relationships. But...