Above all else

I love watching Disney cartoons, and so do the wife and kids.  In the contest for favourite movie, it's a close run between Toy Story and Toy Story 2!  But I've often said this to my kids about Disney and other similar cartoons - enjoy the movies, but take what they say with a pinch of salt.  This recently came to a head with the thoroughly entertaining "Frozen".  Check out the lyrics of the song "Let It Go": Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always had to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well now they know Let it go, let it go! Can't hold it back any more Let it go, let it go! Turn away and slam the door. I don't care what they're going to say Let the storm rage on The cold never bothered me anyway. It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all It's time to see what I can d...

It may be an occupational hazard, but speaking up is starting to become a little habit, even outside work.  Most people would agree in theory that it is a good thing to speak up.  But in reality, no one likes to be told that what they're doing is wrong. No one likes to be told that they don't meet the mark.  So how do I speak up in love?  How do I get people to care about being right, without railing at them, or making them feel guilty about it? At work, it's sometimes necessary for me to be firm to win arguments and convince people.  But I'm still trying to learn and practise that the best negotiators are able to demonstrate win-win conclusions to the contesting parties.  When I'm in attack mode, it's hard for my counterpart to believe that he's winning anything - it just feels like an all-or-nothing, every-man-for-himself situation.  This makes everyone put up shields and before long you're either flinging bombs at each other, or one party simply...